marriage and "man vs woman"

The institution of marriage is one of the greatest parts of civilized life. This is an equation which disturbs the equilibrium and tends to create a new one. Both the girl and the boy enter into a life full of responsibility, leaving behind a care free life full of freedom. As it is said that the man loses his bachelor’s degree and the woman get her Master’s! However, this great tradition is loaded with tonnes of expectations from each family. The husband is supposed to be treating the wife as the most important person, jokingly termed as “joru ka gulam” and the wife, who leaves her own family and accept the new house as her own is expected to follow the norms of her in-law's house.

But if husband ignores wife’s need, he is being a good man probably by not being “joru ka gulam” and if the girl tries to look for some autonomy, she is a rebellion.  All the burden of family's pride and respect is always on woman .Our TV serials had played a great role in maligning sas-bahu relations, but that’s not the focus right now. All I need to say is that the girl is expected to adapt with new family while there is no such expectation on the other side. She certainly loses the comfort and independence of what she used to enjoy at her Mayka. Why is she supposed to call even the younger sister-in-law and brother-in-law as bhaia and didi. Why is she supposed to follow the instructions instead of deciding herself what to do and what not to? Why a mature, self dependent girl suddenly treated as naive to take her own decisions and expected to take permission for even small things. And if she doesn’t, she is too “modern” who don’t have respect for traditions. If the boy stay out at office for longer or go out to meet friends, it’s his fundamental right, but if the girl want to do same, she has to inform in-laws and take permission in advance, and mostly her such needs are not an important thing, even if it’s a matter of great significance for her. And generally the opposite sex friends and not welcome. Some people might counter argue here for giving rationale of respect for traditions and wish of elders for these prejudices against the woman. But there is no question of rational here, it’s the situation and it’s so deep rooted that even we can’t dig up to the rationale. Moreover, the tradition and the rational are not always in sync as the rational keep changing with time. If I give example of sati pratha ...contemporary people justified such inhuman tradition. You can say that sati was an extreme case, however the extremities help to understand the direction if not the intensity, and I want to emphasize the negativity of the situation here.

The question is probably too obvious with centuries of exploitation and suppression, the woman is certainly a disadvantaged group not only socially but also psychologically! I don't know what more to write about it. The opinion would be very subjective and a social change is always too slow.